Life after death..

Is there? I suppose we will never ever truly know. All the science peeps out there will say no way. I have no doubt that there are some very skeptical people. My other half is one of these. Me? I'm divided. I've always been interested in the spirit life, but part of me has always been frightened of it too. Until recently.

My dealings with these things: mum and dad lived in an old house, when I loved there for a while there were always creaks and sounds in the dead of the night but nothing that maybe you wouldn't expect with a old place. I never thought much of it, although if have never been left there alone. No way. Anyway when I was pregnant with womb fruit no 2, we were staying over and miller got up to the toilet during the night, waking me. He left the door ajar and the light was seeping through. All of a sudden I was drawn to the door and this 'swarm' like shadow (I call it this as it looked like a swarm of bees type shadow) came up through the door, up the wall, across the ceiling and disappeared by the window. I was frozen to the spot, but surprisingly not scared. When he got back from the loo just a few minutes later he laughed and went to sleep. He still doesn't believe me but I know what I saw.

They say babies and children are susceptible to spirits, I've read this a lot before. I think its possibly something to do with not having that fear we start to get at a certain age of ghosts, therefore making them 'open' to the other side. When womb fruit no 2 was around 3 years old she was talking a lot to an imaginary friend, I often would find her chatting to herself or said friend. One day I asked her who she was chatting to and she said 'grandad Charlie'. Now my grandad Charlie died when I was 7, back in 1987. I'd never spoken to her about him, in fact I don't think I'd really ever mentioned him to miller or the kids (sadly). So this came as a shock, but again you could put it down to coincidence….

Since dad died the spirit world has intrigued me more. Some friends have said its utter rubbish, some not. I think if it comforts you, what's wrong with it? I can see it wouldn't be healthy to be obsessed about these things but I can see why people visit mediums after losing a loved one, which is exactly what my sister did. This lady knew nothing about my sister bar her first name. She knew within 5 minutes my dad wasn't alive and was able to say how he'd died. She said many other things too, some things maybe you could guess, there's no way you can guess people's names like this lady did, she named my nan and grandad and described them down to a tee. She said to my sister that it takes around 6 months to pass to spirit side, and when dad passes over she'd be able to connect with him more. I've often said to miller how can you not see that there's something in this when someone can tell you these things? How? I truly believe that some people have this gift, and I also believe that there are some charlatans that sadly prey on vulnerable people.

I've felt connected to the after life, and I have on days felt like my dad is around me. I actually find it comforting. I may see a medium myself. I don't want the future predicted, I don't believe anyone has the power to do that, and if they claim to then they probably are having you on. I like to take each day as it comes and who knows what the future holds anyway, we choose which path we take and what leads us there. I would like to just see a medium out of curiosity, not for answers. If I get told anything then its a bonus. If this person can tell me my dads ok, or there then even better.

Ever had dejavu? Ever smelt something and you instantly get taken back to your childhood or a night out, or drink something and picture yourself in that bar back in 1999 having fun without a care in the world? But have you ever had these moments when you just can't remember, maybe these are memories from a life before.

It would be a shame if there wasn't life after death, I know the body isn't immortal but what a waste for the spirit and soul to just die with it. I'm sure it goes somewhere. I've quoted this snippet from a book I've just read in my last blog, but it seems relevant to pop it here too. I like it, it rings bells for me. Its raw, and its beautiful.

When my body stopped working and my heart stopped beating, I was left with an imprint of me, something that retained my features somehow, and still looked and felt like me. I was the shadow of myself but I could still touch and be touched, and if I wanted to, I could be seen. I was something fluid that could dissolve itself int he elements and then come back together, a body without matter, a body that could have be itself and at the same time be water or stone or air.

I could turn into particles swirling in the sun, black waters lapping on the shores of the loch or a breeze between the trees. I could sit beside an owl, high on a branch in the darkness and contemplate the night in its company. I could swim with the otters and emerge among the reeds, their shiny eyes looking straight into mine in a wordless conversation. I could turn to stone and when I did, I could feel the heart of the earth pulsating at the centre of each rock vibrating with invisible heat and energy. The power of thousands and thousands of years, the time of the earth forming and shifting into what we know now. All that I could feel as I was the side of a hill, a pebble on the shore, a stone covered in moss in the middle of the woods.

If I do go visit a medium, ill let you know. Until then please share with me your feelings on this, I love to hear all points of view.


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