I have them. I think most people do don't they? After a week in the beautiful Egyptian sun doing nothing but sipping the odd cocktail and dipping a toe into the pool or Red Sea coming home to wet and miserable weather is bound to make us feel miserable. However I'm not so miserable about that, because you see I'm grateful I had that week away with my family and friends. These days I know its difficult to have holidays for a lot of people, so I'm grateful we can.
I'm feeling sad. I think the last few months are finally getting to me. I was so preoccupied with helping my mum after my dad died that I don't think my feet touched the ground. Then I had to think about going back to work, and that occupied my mind. Then of course my holiday. Whilst I was away I read a fantastic book (I will blog about this) and parts of it made me have that grief ache as I call it. Then I remembered its Father's Day this weekend and that grief feeling in my throat comes back.
So now I'm home, and all I can think about is my Dad and how much I miss him. I know some people may think I should be over the worst, but honestly? I don't think I ever will be. I don't think anyone who has lost a parent will disagree with me. Im such a deep thinker these days too, I don't think this is a bad thing. I just like to analyse things more and rather than being narrow minded about some stuff my mind is more like a sponge, soaking up what's around it. I'm different in many ways, I may not show it but then again I don't always to even those closest to me. Sometimes those closest to me may not want to see these changes. The ones who care about me the most will love me whatever the change, and no matter what. These are the people who matter to me the most.
So what am I doing to cheer myself up? Not a lot! Just getting on with everyday life. That's normality and its not such a bad thing. I may look at next years holiday. Mainly though ill just be thankful for what I have and hold those close ones around me closer.