I'm staying at my Mums house for a few days and tonight whilst I was putting the baby womb fruit to bed I stood there and swayed with her, in my arms whilst badly singing 'twinkle twinkle little star' and 'rockabye baby'. As I was stood there I was thinking crikey, can you imagine if people saw me now, stood here rocking my baby to sleep. They'd be shoving the attachment parenting we've kind of done with her down my throat and telling me how good baby's go to sleep in their cots, alone, no rocking just independent.
Three things struck me:
1) Do I enjoy it? Yes I love rocking my baby to sleep and watching her nod off into a lovely slumber
2) Does she enjoy it? Without a single doubt
3) Does it affect anyone? Nope
Then it hit me, why do I actually care? Why would it actually matter to anyone how my baby goes to sleep tonight? And if anyone was to make a negative comment about it then I guess that's their problem and says a lot about them no?
I think I'm probably a bit prickly about this type of thing as I've come across a lot of negativity when attachment parenting is talked about, the rod for your back comment comes up a lot and its perceived as being a bit alternative and hippy like, yet is actually pretty close to how nature intended us to parent and I find it sad its seen as the norm to encourage your child not to be dependable on you.
So what I'm trying to say is stop worrying about what other people say, if it works for you and your baby / child and you're both happy then who cares.
I came across a great blog the other day, via Facebook (which is where I find a good few blogs) and I could've written the post myself. I've written posts here before how my parenting style this time around has been a little different from my second baby, but a lot different from my first time. I was having a conversation at work a who ago with a colleague (waves at Hannah :-)) and she asked why some things I've been specifically different about. Its definitely a combination, its not just one thing. Firstly experience, I've had 2 babies before and as times wore on and I've got older (and wiser) I am not trying to please anyone but my baby and me. I am doing what feels right, not what i think i should be doing / what a book says / what my friend did. I'm being baby led and it makes for a happy baby (and isn't having a baby about tuning into their needs and nurturing them?) and in turn a happy me and happy house. Also the sad things that have happened to us this past year have made me extremely grateful for my family, and our health. I take nothing for granted. You get one chance so make the most of it, don't rush their baby days, cuddle them, sleep in with them. Let your kids stay up late once in a while, make the most of it.
I'm also a midwife, which means I don't always jump feet first into a choice, I research it first! I see being a parent like being a midwife, its lifelong learning. You may try something, don't like it or do like it. You may find what didnt work for one child works for another. You learn all the time.
If anyone doesn't like the way I do things then I don't give two hoots! Its a shame doing things the way nature intended causes people to be so opinionated. As a family we are a really happy bunch these days, yeah we have off days like everyone else but we enjoy being a little team and I'm grateful.