I ate my placenta..

Now I've got your attention. I'm tired, its late. I'm probably going to make a huge amount of spelling and grammar mistakes. I need to vent though. I watched something today, and the subsequent things I read following it have … Continue reading

Happy Fathers Day

Well it was, and wasn't.

For obvious reasons – because my own dad wasn't here for me to send a personalised moonpig card to. He bloody loved them cheesy cards. One year I got him a card designed like a newspaper with the headlines about him being a bit of a Del Boy – that was him all over. He loved it. I got him some only fools and horses themed ones with his name / picture on for fathers days / birthdays before. I don't know what he loved more – the cards or the fact that in this day and age you could actually get these type of things (his words!)

So this year no moonpig card. In fact I couldn't even bring myself to visit any card shops until 4:35pm Saturday afternoon. I felt really mean about this because, you know my other half is a fantastic father and I've always been so organised and got him a moonpig card too, or a nice one picked by each child. I just couldn't do it though and seeing the 'best grandad' mugs or coasters was too much to bear. I'm sure it'll get easier, I'm sure but for now I had to do what I felt was right and that was not to endure anymore pain than I was already feeling in my heavy little heart. When I arrived at mums yesterday I suddenly felt silly as the kids would've rather made cards anyway but I didn't even think of this. D'oh. I quickly popped to a shop before it closed then flew by tesco and got a tolberone and some cider. Miller would be more than happy with this, and a lie in.

Oh did I say lie in? I woke up at 9am and he'd been downstairs with my mum and the children since 6:50am *redface* in my defence I've had a icky tummy since Egypt and was up with cramps until 1am and warming the toilet seat (TMI sorry) and then the baby woke with a empty tummy and needed feeding. So by 6:30am I was probably sleeping quite nicely thank you. And do you know what? This, this is the very reason that this man is the best because he didn't wake me demanding his Father's Day lay in, he didn't wake me telling me that the previous day he'd also gotten up at 6am to go to work early so we could leave for my mums house earlier as I'd asked, he just left me in a lovely sleep because he knows I'm having a hard time lately and because he is selfless. This is why I love him, and this is why I appreciate him.

The rest of the day was ok, my sister travelled down with her family, my brother came over with his. We went for a meal and it was lovely having all of us together and being with my mum. Then we visited dads grave and laid some flowers. Very surreal, it still doesn't feel real. I'm not sure it ever will.

Back to mums and a few cups of tea later and we were back on the road heading home – 100 odd miles south. Came home and unpacked, fed the womb fruits and then went about hoovering, making lunchboxes, mopping floors and making plans for the week ahead. Because, you know – that's life. Mundane as it can be normality is what helps sometimes.

Peace out peeps.